So I was thinking to myself as I stuffed my face with delicious barbequed ribs from a newborn infant, when was the last time I got a quality rimjob?

You see, it has been eons since my taint has last received a proper tongue lashing, and never once has it come close to the quality of a llama tongue on my sphinctor.

You see, llamas spit alot, and I believe I have finally found the answer as to why.
Llamas need to spit because they are always busy giving rimjobs. I mean seriously, think about it. What’s a llama going to do besides sit on a field and eat grass? People think their spit smells so bad because of what they eat, but I think it’s from licking that corn-covered-can!

Just don’t knock a llama up or you will be dealing with an emotional rollercoaster for an entire year, and honestly it would probably just work out better if you ate the damn thing.

Just make sure to clean up llama spit ASAP, it is known to cause impotency in men AND IN SOME CASES WOMEN!
LOL

Once upon a time there was a lovely Russian girl by the name of Irina. In her glory days she spent her time in my lair, performing such tasks as polishing the Royal Knob, making me sandwiches, and of course, pleasuring my other servants.

However, these are dark times.
Irina has since been brainwashed by her evil creator, Krrios. He came in the night, snatching her from my kingdom.

With this mighty post, I pray to the heavens that her eyes see this link, a picturesce moment of her times spent in my Kingdom.

She could suck a watermelon through a garden hose. *sniff*